Chile, I can't believe this!!

I sent my computer back to HP earlier this year to get the wireless switch fixed. I just opened up the CD/DVD drive, why was there this disc o' porn that I made still in there?? I sent my porn collection to HP, when the whole purpose was to make sure I had a backup copy of it all in case they wiped my drive...what if the watched it, is all that goes through my mind. LOL A mess!!

I imagine this is the face, if they happened to see it. (SEE BELOW)

Glad that shit is over!!

So, today I finally took the LSAT! I was so relaxed! I couldn't believe how un-stressful it was! Now to the hardest part, trying to not jump while waiting on my scores! They come in about three weeks...I'm glad about that, because if I didn't so hot, it won't really affect my mindset for midterms. but anyway, I am about to go and get high and drunk...my first time smoking marijuana!! I'm excited!!

Beautiful!!!

This woman is a beast! She sings her ass off! And seriously, who cares if she's a bitch...I don't! :)

Kathleen Battle - Over My Head I Hear Music in the Air

OMG!! That was so...

real for me. I just watched Prayers For Bobby, that Lifetime movie. It was so saddening for me. I cried so much during this film. I understand exactly how Bobby feels. I know that my family loves me, but I can't help feeling like they love me "in spite" of my being gay. I don't think I'd take it to the depths that Bobby did, but I do feel the hurt sometimes. I feel so alone, and I feel a crazy amount of fear. I really want to explore this new identity, but I can't get out of this mind frame that someone will find out...that really shouldn't be a concern...but it still is. I sometimes feel completely stupid, because I want to go into politics(not to personally get elected, working behind the scenes), but I feel like being myself will mess that up for me. I am just so conflicted...and sometimes I feel so alone, I really wish I had a friend who could relate...I guess I do, but he's doing his domestic exchange...and sometimes I just wanna talk face to face.

Also, I'm still so scared to even think of approaching a guy...and sometimes I just wish that I had never even said anything. I feel like it would be easier to just keep the lie going. I think of this when i see families and think about how hard it'll be for me to have kids, even when (read: if) I find a husband. Of course, I know this is COMPLETELY PREPOSTEROUS!! But the idea of going out t and meeting a guy is so friggin scary!!!