So..It's been quite a while

I hope the new year was great for you all!

My night was rather awful, even in the midst of chaotic bliss.

I went to a party, it was you typical college party: drugs, alcohol, slutty activity...the works.

I had a good time, but I do have some regrets about that night. I spent about nine (9) hours chatting with a guy on BBM (Blackberry Messenger). now the convo and everything was great! I learned a lot more about him than i already knew, and it only made me more interested in him. Well, after a few drinks, I spilled all of my tea to him. I'm so mad at myself! I don't even remember what he said, but I do knwo that it ended up with me being in the friend zone. I mean it would be different if he was straight and I had misread the signs. and to make it worse, he gave me the dreaded, "Why didn't you ask earlier?" This had me damn near in tears (drunken tears, but tears nonetheless). So now I feel like I ave missed a great chance. I even begged for a chance to prove I was worth it after the friend zoning...I. Am. SSSOOOO. EMBARRASSED!

But whatever, I guess this was bound to happen eventually. I'm just glad I have such sypportive friends! they helped me to back off the ledge that, if I had jumped, would've led me to trying to act like being gay was "just a phase" and going on to be miserable and in the closet yet, again. But they really helped me to see it for what it was, an impossibility. I'm gay, and I have to come to terms with that. And I have to be able to love myself, if I ever expect anyone else to be able to love me!

I'm well on my way!

Today was SOOO PRODUCTIVE!

I was able to feel out all of my law school apps, minus the personal statements I have yet to write...FML!

I applied for the fee waiver, b/c any little bit helps.

I printed out my transcript request forms and my letter of rec forms...(contented sigh).

I feel really good, even though I slacked and didn't go to my internship all week.

I'm gonna go a few extra days next week to make it up...and I'll also be stopping by the infirmary, to make up an alibi...do I feel a sore throat?? (cough, cough; wink)

So is this what its like?

I have been run RAGGED!

I'm gonna blame it on the workload and the lack of sleep, plus the gym

*in reality, it may have been the partying form last week...*

But we'll act as though that never happened *wink*

My buddy came back in town for the festivities, it was good to see him.

We drank, laughed, looked at hotties, and partook in the new vice....
We smoked DOZIER, or marijuana...whatever you wanna call it...

I never understood why someone would smoke that on a regular, I get it now...I'm not a regular...but I do understand now!

So my life is overly stressful right now...But I'm trying to give this world something EPIC!

I swear sometimes I wanna give up and just stay in bed, and to be totally honest sometimes I do! (don't judge me!) but today, I got the hell up and took my ass to the gym (I joined LA Fitness last night, and today was my first session). It was awesome, I learned how i need to work out in order to lose weight. I also feel in love with my beautiful and sexy personal trainer, but this was my only session, because it is a recession and I can barely afford to breathe, let alone pay some personal trainer! But I do plan to make working out a habit, not a phase!

But I am just trying to make sure there is a SICKENING change in me come graduation in May!

I also am just burdened with trying to apply to law school, and these personal statements are not coming easy! I'm applying to 8 different schools, and I'm hoping I can get a fee waiver, or 8...btu whatever, i have 2 exams tomorrow so I must go and study!

PS- My arms feel like jelly and my abs are still on fire!

Chile, I can't believe this!!

I sent my computer back to HP earlier this year to get the wireless switch fixed. I just opened up the CD/DVD drive, why was there this disc o' porn that I made still in there?? I sent my porn collection to HP, when the whole purpose was to make sure I had a backup copy of it all in case they wiped my drive...what if the watched it, is all that goes through my mind. LOL A mess!!

I imagine this is the face, if they happened to see it. (SEE BELOW)

Glad that shit is over!!

So, today I finally took the LSAT! I was so relaxed! I couldn't believe how un-stressful it was! Now to the hardest part, trying to not jump while waiting on my scores! They come in about three weeks...I'm glad about that, because if I didn't so hot, it won't really affect my mindset for midterms. but anyway, I am about to go and get high and drunk...my first time smoking marijuana!! I'm excited!!

Beautiful!!!

This woman is a beast! She sings her ass off! And seriously, who cares if she's a bitch...I don't! :)

Kathleen Battle - Over My Head I Hear Music in the Air