The Journey Has Begun

So, I had my first experince where I lost someone after coming out to them. I truly felt that everything was alright after I told LC, my former bff(or so I thought). I mean she was cool, she didn't call em that often anyway and we didn't hang out very often anyway, since she goes to school in our home state and I don't. I have felt that we were growing apart for quite some time, but I figured it was because I was becoming more comfortable being ymself at school, and I still had to wear the facade at home. So, I felt that in order to work on our relationship I come out to her; her initial reaction shocked me, but only because recently she became uber-religious and conservative. The day I told her she called me up and was like where is this coming from, I didn't understand the question. She asked why i was coming out now...I still don't quite understand why I feel like I shoudl tell my folks about my sexuality, but something tells me I should...I think it has something to do with trying to be comfortable with my folk. But anyway...

since I've been homw this summer, things have been really awkward with the two folks that are my supposed bffs, LC and SMM. Me and SMM have worked on our relationship and now I can talk about anything with her; LC was not willing to talk when I told her i thought we needed to talk...I haven't spoken to her since she said that. She has commented on my facebook, and sent me text messages acting like there is nothign wrong, I can't even deal with it...and whenever i get ready to talk about my bffs, the people that come to mind are SMM and DLM...and I feel like this has been the more acurate picture since I started college.

I'm am so worn out!!

I worked on Sunday, Today, and I have shifts Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday...I'm so tired...and since I told them my schedule is open, I'm scheduled to work at the most random times! But I mist say..I'd much rather be working crazy hours than no hours...my regular shift is only 16 hrs a week...and while the was okay in high school, I'm not making the same hourly wage as back then.

So the ex that I was supposed to go out with the other day sent me the most upsetting text message in the middle of last night. I was in the bed after working a full shift on about two hours of sleep and attending a birthday party and then having drinks with my bff. SO needless to say I was trying to get dead to the world! But back to my story, I had updated my Facebook status stating how much fun it is to go for drinks with my bff, why did this fool send me a text saying(verbatim) "Wow Yours Truly. Glad you had fun with your friends. Thanks for standing me up on Friday. Its great to see that that is how you are." WTF?? then i replied that she should lose my number if that's how she feels she then retorted that it was all a joke. I know she's lying..I could hear her voice cracking...I don't why she is making herself mad! that makes no sense!

In other news, the White Peach Sangria form Applebee's is UH-mazing! A the Long Island Iced Tea is pretty damn good as well! I need to stop...I'mbecoming a damn lush!